4. DROP INTO “WE’LL SEE” MENTALITY
Have you ever experienced a first date where you found yourself future-tripping? You know, the moment you realize their favorite holiday is Thanksgiving (so is yours!) or that they could see themselves leaving the city (wait, you also want to own sheep!), so suddenly you start to analyze what a future would be like with this dare-we-say, stranger, in your life? Tinx has a cure for that: “When you find yourself getting excited about someone’s potential, you have to immediately drop into “we’ll see mentality” which is where your reaction is “we’ll see what happens” and take it from there. It’s open minded and positive, but not attached to any outcome. It takes the pressure off dating,” she maintains.
5. UTILIZE YOUR “SELF WORK” TOOLBOX
In the self-development space, especially in regard to relationships, there’s a lot of chat around what it means to “do the work.” But what does inner work actually mean? “For me, ‘the work’ is identifying things about yourself that you want to improve upon, and then taking active measures to do so,” Tinx says. “I started doing this work when I was 26-27, when I was tired of going out and feeling like I was spinning out of control. I wanted to be more confident. I started reading, journaling and going to therapy. I hope everyone gets the opportunity to speak to someone, it has been so instrumental in my growth.” But she also stresses that you don’t have to take every piece of advice handed to you. “Picking and choosing what resonates with me has been key,” she explains. “You can love a certain practice or mentality that your mentor has, and still not love every single thing they do. That’s why it’s important to create your own toolkit of resources and ways to build confidence and feel better about yourself, finding what works for you. It’s what I’ve done, and I’ve been happier ever since.”
